It is pretty easy for me to be frugal because there is very little that I want to buy. There is actually very little I want even when it is free. There just are not many things that I think are worth the money they cost and a lot of things that I don’t think are even worth the hassle of owning even if they are free. This natural frugality does save me money but it does have drawbacks. Obviously, there are some things I need to spend money on whether I think they are worth it or not. Sometimes I find myself not wanting to spend money on things such as health care which could end up costing me a lot more money in the future. In instances like that I have to overcome my natural resistance to spending any money. I have gotten much better at doing that in the last few years but it has been a process and it is still ongoing.
An example is the shopping trip at Target my fiancee and I went on yesterday. It actually wasn’t a shopping trip but registering for wedding gifts but it still seemed like shopping to me. Although my fiancee knew I wasn’t enthused about registering for gifts she thought I would come around once we started the process. It may seem strange to most people but even in a big store like Target there just isn’t much I want even if someone else is buying. I don’t want to ask for anything that I wouldn’t purchase myself, it seems like a waste to me. My fiancee took my lack of interest in the wedding registry process to indicate a lack of interest in the wedding and marriage and was rather upset. The marriage is very important to me but I don’t much care about the wedding and reception. However, since they are important to my fiancee I should have made more of an effort to participate. That was another lesson learned and I have to continue to make sure that my natural frugality doesn’t negatively affect my relationships.
Maybe you should practice the phrase, “Oh yes, honey, I like that one too!”. Of course it should be mixed with,”What do you think about this one?” so that you don’t automatically agree with everything.
My friend had a bunch of camping gear on her wedding registry from Target. but perhaps Target camping gear is not the best quality or maybe you have enough camping gear.
Perhaps you can add Heifer.org to your wish list and help some people while you are at it.
Good advice. I have most of the camping gear I need and Target doesn’t have much that would work for hiking. Adding a charity is a good idea but I probably won’t do that.
Definitely do not use the phrase “whatever you want honey” it’s a trap! You think it’s what they want to hear but it’s not! If it’s whatever THEY want than you not involved and don’t care.
In Australia most couples these days are using “wishing wells” it’s just a vase or attractive bucket and people throw cash and their wedding card into it.
I’m a reader of a lot of frugal sites and I’ve always wanted to see articles about couples where one is more frugal than the other. I’m the the frugal one and my wife and kids aren’t. I think the adjustments you are going through will be interesting to read about Andy.
I’m definitely the more frugal one. My wife isn’t a spendthrift, she just spends like most people do which is a lot more than I do. We will both have to adjust.
I like the idea of alternative registries, that are either more practical or altruistic. My favorite (frugal) alternative is the DOWN PAYMENT registry, but so far, I haven’t convinced anyone to do it. Its very difficult to contradict emotionally based traditions.
http://www.ehow.com/how_5303057_create-down-payment-wedding-registry.html
http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2010/06/14/alternative-wedding-registries/
Those are some interesting registries but it doesn’t look like they really took off. I don’t think people are willing to change that much.